I cannot fucking sleep as of late. Between the stress at work and the complicated relationship I am dealing with, I’m a mess.
On top of that, today I found out a close friend of mine from the gym passed away from some kidney complications. I am angry about this. It doesn’t make any sense what so ever. I fucking miss the big guy like hell already. Going to the gym tomorrow is going to be brutal. Looking at empty squat racks where he used to lift is going to upset me worse than anything. There won’t be anyone calling me a “little nugget” when I walk in anymore (everyone was a little nugget to him. He was fucking huge) he was the only one who did it.
It’s just not fair.
RIP big buddy. Everyone is gonna miss you.
I don’t know when the funeral is but I’ll be taking time off for it if I have to. Even though I just used 3 days of vacation and everyone at work seemed pissed about that. Absolute bullshit. I’ll be applying for a job in Reno once I get my website up and running. I think I need to get out of here since the one person I care for and love can hardly even give me the time of day sometimes because he’s trying to leave the state too and has no intention of taking me with him or even offering to allow me to join him. Says he wants to do it by himself.
Not fair I say. Just not fair.
If I’ve learned anything from video games, it is that when you meet enemies, it means that you’re going in the right direction.